I remember reading this quote many years ago before Robin Williams, sadly took his own life. It struck a cord with me because it was at a time that I was in a relationship that made me feel exactly that. It confused me as I was very rarely physically alone and left to wander around by myself doing my own thing, I was always with my partner or with others.
I set on a quest to figure out why I was experiencing the very real feelings that I was faced with. Luckily my loneliness and feeling of despair was never as evident as to how Robin Williams felt in his life with the demons that plagued his soul. For this I am very thankful.
I have experienced the aftermath of what a suicide feels like to family members such as myself left behind. Wondering “what?” “why?” “what could I have done to prevent this?” and I wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy. It never leaves you and during those bleak times the feeling of being alone comes back in full force.
It starts off as a slow ripple on the surface of a lake, but then becomes like a tidal wave in your mind.
Not having anybody to talk too at the drop of a hat that has experienced losing somebody to suicide is hard. Don’t get me wrong, I can always pick up the phone and chat with a family member, but 18 months since her death now leaves me wanting to talk or listen to strangers talk about their story. Strangers that have experienced it. Yup, strangers that won’t judge me or cringe when I cry like a baby or get angry in the next breath. Oh, yes. After a suicide the waves of anger that come to you, which are directly intended for the person that left you on this earth are like no other. You might not also want to burden your family with how you are feeling as they are feeling it too. Now I channel my energy into listening to others and that helps ME. It’s a win win for both of us.
So I set out on my journey and over the course of 3 months of asking people that I knew or random strangers “When you feel alone even if you are in a relationship or if you feel alone regardless of being in a relationship, what are the main reasons, do you think?”
Reasons why people experience loneliness — even when they’re not alone.
- Social Media. Try not to put too much stock into social media as it can be very misleading and fake. It all looks good on the outside but what happens 20 minutes after the picture takes place? Who knows, but no relationship is perfect and disagreements happen. You just don’t see them on Social Media per se. Everybody has “stuff” “baggage” but they don’t openly display this on Social Media.
- They won’t let people close or let them in very easily. In social situations, remember to make eye contact, listen actively to what others are saying and try to be open to kindness offered by others. It will help you feel less lonely. Trust and have faith more. Not all people are out to get you or to pull a fast one on you.
- You feel you need more substance in your relationship. More beef. More attention. If you want to feel less lonely and connect more with others, remember close friends can’t solve your problems; they can only offer support. Furthermore, it’s your job to support them when they need it, too. At Phone My Friend I cannot solve your problems, but organically I can help you solve them as you share and connect with a friend that offers you the support YOU need.
- You miss intimacy and not just in a sexual way. You miss the genuine hugs and the real kisses. You could take a pass on the air kissing, but you could take a genuine smacker on the cheek or a tight hug that feels like a bear hug. You can have lots of relationships, but if they’re not close relationships, you might feel unfulfilled. There is a reason that the hugging service is expanding! Its true. Check it out here in this link.. Rest assured too, when you chat with me you will feel the virtual hug from me and the warmth emanating from my voice.
- You are introverted. It can feel overwhelming to make small talk with lots of people in a big room or event. Small talk for an introvert is like having rusty nails poked into your eyes. If talking on the phone is too much for you as an introvert, you can always submit a request for an online chat with me! This is a BIG hit with most introverts within my business Phone My Friend.
So let’s get connected and share some stories. You are one step closer to feeling less lonely when you call me or online chat with me and your secrets are never shared with anyone.
Hugs to all of you beautiful souls and let’s go on this journey together!
All calls for new users are FREE for the first 3 minutes and for online chat the 1st minute is FREE!
Claire xx
Leave A Comment