I am so lonely. Have you ever said this to anybody that is in your circle of friends or family?
Chances are you have probably said to yourself “I am so lonely”, but to actually say that out loud to a friend in your circle or to a family member is very hard for most people. It is hard because you feel that you will be judged and that the person that you are telling this too, will be offended and possibly take it personally. But all you are trying to do is to offload how lonely you feel and really only want them to listen to how you feel.
When you tell your husband, partner or friend “I am so lonely” you might be met with a response such as “How can you say this, you always look so happy?” or “Huh, I give you everything, how can you still feel lonely?” Responses like this might make you feel like your feelings are not being validated and that they might as well just tell you that you are being ridiculous and that your perception of how you feel is all wrong. But you have your own reasons as to why you feel lonely or maybe you don’t actually know why you feel so lonely, but you just want to have the freedom of expression and share that with somebody that you trust. Share that with somebody that will just listen, not judge and not take it personally.
Just expressing how lonely you feel to somebody out loud can trigger that feel good response within you, where you finally ‘get’ what exactly it is that is making you feel this way. By expressing yourself and by just being heard, helps. When you need somebody to talk to, you might turn to social media but actually realize it might be your interactions on there that are actually making you say to yourself or out loud “I am so lonely”. This is a possibility and one that some don’t think about, until they dig deep.
So what can you do about it? It always helps to know why you feel the way that you do and to try your best to change it with the help of a therapist. Or maybe you don’t feel you need therapy at this time, but you just need to vent? You want to build a relationship with somebody that doesn’t know your friends, family or even know what you look like. You want to share your secrets or rants as they listen to you and offer you words of empathy. Your reality is very real to you and even if I can’t really understand what you are feeling because I haven’t experienced what you want to vent about, I can most definitely offer you my compassion, making you feel safe. Compassion builds relationships and makes you feel safer.
Judging, criticizing disagreeing and having people around you, not validating your feelings makes you say to yourself or others “I am so lonely”.
I am so lonely you say…so what are you waiting for?
Let’s get better acquainted and build a relationship over the phone where you are free to vent and share, stories, secrets or anything that interests you in total confidence with a friendly person that listens to what you really have to say without judgement or criticism!
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