phone my friend Claire

We have all said things and wished we hadn’t said them!  Once we say something out loud we cannot take it back.   The power of our words has such an impact on our own mental state as well as to the recipient.   This can be both positive or negative.  I try to be as positive as I possibly can with the words that I use to myself when I am having a hard time with something physically or mentally.  I feel sad when I hear people call themselves “stupid” or “I am such a dumb ass” because I believe the more we call ourselves or others these words, the more we become to believe them and others will start seeing those negative connotations in us also.

One of the most profound video’s I have seen is an oldie but a goodie!

I am sure most of you have seen this video before.  You might have forgotten about it or you might have never seen it.  But if you have just under 2 minutes to spare to watch the video below….I am sure you will understand the power behind the words that we use!

Enjoy and next time you catch yourself calling yourself or somebody else something negative…stop yourself and rethink what you really do want to say to yourself!  It could be …. “I might be struggling with this right now, but there has to be an easier way, surely?”.   Asking out loud will draw the answer to you in good time.

Remember I am just a phone call away or you can submit an online chat request here in this link, if this is your preference to talking.

Have you ever noticed that children get so excited about the smallest of things? It could be something as simple as growing pumpkin seeds in a jar and watching them grow into little shoots or it could be giving them a big bunch of oranges and asking them to squeeze them into a bowl for you so you can both make freshly squeezed orange juice then pour the juice into Popsicle holders for freezing.   I remember making bowls of jelly from boiling water and the kids asking every 5 minutes if the jelly had set hard in the freezer, yet!    It was always so sweet to watch their faces when we did the wobble test to see if the jelly was ready to eat.  Kids are always amazed by such small uplifting outcomes.   Why does this have to change as we get older?

So if you can make it a point to remember those fun but small times that you had with your own children or from your own childhood knowing the happy impact it had on yourself or them, why wouldn’t you try to make it a point to try to brighten someones day, every day….starting today!?

Maybe compliment the grumpy postal worker that always growls at every customer in the post office.  Compliment them on how hard it must be for them to work with the public every day or stop and chat with a homeless person.   Invite a neighbor over for freshly brewed coffee that seems lonely and let them share their day with you.

You might get a ‘thank you’ or a smile back and you might get to hear their story or they might carry on being a grumpy postal worker or an apprehensive homeless person that shrugs away from your friendliness.   It is OK.  It is OK if you compliment or give without expecting back.  Just knowing you had the intention to brighten another person’s day will elevate”your” mood.

I know at Phone My Friend I love elevating peoples mood when they call me for a chat on the phone or we have an online chat.

I have a few friends that call me at Phone My Friend as they struggle to come to terms with the loss of their loved one through suicide.  We help each other.  I help them as I listen to their struggles such as anger, disbelief, shock and utter painful, gut wrenching sadness and they help me as I feel immense pleasure to be there for them knowing how hard it is to actually get somebody to ‘listen’ to you during this difficult time.  Some people can listen, but they might ask imposing questions or make references as to why they think a person did ‘commit’ such an awful thing to those left behind.

Comments such as the latter, don’t help and rather than making the victim of suicide feel better, it actually makes us feel worse and we shut down.  Or we get the friends who know what happened and find it too painful to broach the subject, so they say nothing.   Not sure what is worse in total honesty, as I find it is quite unforgivable when a person doesn’t make an effort to even say “thinking of you”….  Anyway enough of my waffling as I want to take this subject to a slightly different place in my next paragraph.

I read a lovely book which I hope you will all read if you are struggling with the loss of a loved one through suicide or if you have a friend that is struggling and you are not sure how to handle it. It is a book by “Eleanora Betsy Ross” called “After suicide, a ray of hope for those left behind”.  This book became like my bible, coupled with lots of praying and yelling at the big upstairs after my loss. It helped me immensely.

Food for thought and one that I hope will change the way that victims of a suicide loss start to reprogram their way of thinking, which hopefully will reprogram other people’s way of thinking so it helps with the journey that the victim is on and helps them become better equipped to cope with the loss of their loved one in more delicate terms than by such an aggressive term as “Committing suicide” implies.

The paragraph that I will quote here was taken straight out of the book ……

Terminology:  Suicide is a form of death which often may be stigmatized by terminology.  We say people commit suicide, commit crimes and are committed to institutions. We do not say they commit heart attacks or cancer. We say they died by a heart attack or cancer – why not say they died by suicide?

I for one, ever since reading this paragraph in the book mentioned above will erase the term “Commit suicide” from my vocabulary and replace it with “She chose to die by suicide, or she died by suicide”.

What do you think?

Your friendly comments on this new way of phrasing the term are of importance to me..

Claire

Introverts.  Are you one of them?   Research shows that acting in an outgoing, talkative, adventurous or assertive way makes people, even introverts feel happier.   That surprised Gretchen Rubin who is the author of “The Happiness Project” (which incidentally is a fantastic read and a must have for any book shelf!) Gretchen Rubin thought that introverts were happier in solitude and quiet.

But in fact Gretchen commented that, when introverts push themselves to act more outgoing, they usually enjoy it and find it cheering!  What do you think?  Does the thought of going out with a friend leave you feeling like you would prefer to stay home and sort out your sock drawer, or does it give you some leave you with a “Yes, I must do this!” kind of feeling?

Connecting with other people whether it be in person or over the phone, lifts people’s moods and helps them if they feel lonely. Especially when your story is shared with no bias, prejudice or judgement.  I welcome all stories!   I have a lot of callers that call me that mention they are very introverted and struggle to get the words out.  Together we find a way and I ask them questions to help pull out information about their day or their hobbies.  One guy spoke non stop about Star Wars when I asked him if he had watched the movie.  I had no idea what he was talking about but I felt good learning from him about the characters and his collection of Star Wars memorabilia!   It was fun to hear his excitement!

So connect with me today at Phone My Friend and share YOUR story!  I welcome all introverted people to push themselves and share their stories with me whether it is for 10 minutes a day or for just 10 minutes a month!  Due to your introverted personality, talking on the phone might not be your thing.   You can always send a request for an online chat with me here in this link!

Hello beautiful souls!

If you could have text or mailed a letter to yourself 5 years ago, what would you have said?

My story …..

I would sit down in a relaxing place with a cup of tea, get out a nice note card, scatter in a lavender sprig and write “It will all work out, it always does”. Then I would have mailed it to myself and kept the envelope sealed, not to be opened until 5 years later to the day.

In fact I am going to go and do this very thing this week, once I have bought some new note cards. But instead of keeping it simple with one sentence or phrase, I think I will go into more detail with achievements that I would like to see already happening in my future in 2021. Some goals come straight to mind, but it’s a project that might need more thought as we have to be careful what we wish for!  I certainly wish for health and abundance.  Abundance comes in many forms, but I would like to have an abundance of online friends that I can help as they call me or online chat with me, through Phone My Friend and to save more money than I usually do!

At the end of every year I like to sit down and write my goals down for the following year.  One thing I would like to add that is very, very important. When writing down your goals, write down next to each goal the emotion that you feel when you think of already having the goal in your life.  Tying the emotion in with your actual written goal makes a better connection with the universe, God or whatever belief you have.   Emotions are what bring things to us at an accelerated pace.

Ask, believe and receive!

I write my goals on paper and seal it in an envelope and place my envelope with my dreams or goals in it inside the Christmas decoration box, then I forget about it.  I then open my envelope in the beginning of December of the next year when I open up the Christmas box.  It’s pretty cool to see which of your dreams or goals you did or didn’t achieve and sometimes you exceed them beyond what you thought was possible!

What would be your story? …..

I am really looking forward to hearing what you have to say and please share with me, if you have done this project before or if you are planning on actually doing it now that the seed has been planted!

Remember I am just a phone call away with Phone my Friend or you can submit an online chat request with me, if chatting on the phone isn’t your thing.

Reverend Claire

Friends need hugs!!  Just sending a virtual hug to everybody in the world as some days can be lonelier than ever.  Maybe you feel lonely without a friend to talk with.   I am here for you!   I am here for you over the phone with Phone My Friend or you can request an online chat with me if talking on the phone doesn’t float your boat!

“Never doubt your own voice, no matter how small, no matter how improbable.  All voices matter and big things happen when they are heard”.

I might be an ordained minister, but I love and appreciate ALL religions and belief systems.  I love to hear all stories about what you believe or don’t believe as it keeps you in this sometimes lonely world more interesting!

Let’s face it, who wants to be squeezed into a box with us all thinking the same thing?

Hugs from Florida!

Reverend Claire

Yeah, my very first blog with Phone My Friend!

Welcome my lovelies and thank you for reading! I am so excited about getting to know you all and I am very grateful for being able to pursue my dream about living a life as an ordained minister and loving a career that brings me happiness each and every day with knowing that I can be here in body and mind to listen to you as you share your stories with me! I loves stories!

You don’t have to sign up for complimentary “Musings with Claire” which you can find on my homepage, but in doing so, we can get better acquainted much faster and you can be informed of any new blog’s that I have just wrote. I look forward to hearing from you with your own musings in regards to blogs or within my “Musings with Claire”.

I try to keep my “Musings with Claire” political and religion free. Not because I have an aversion to both subjects just as I have no objection if you are Islamic, Jewish, born again or are an atheist. I also have no qualms if you wear a “Trump” t-shirt or a “Hilary” one. This isn’t to say I won’t ask “your” opinion on something…you just won’t hear me rant about any one particular subject. This is a place for you to share and not for me to dominate the conversation.

This is a non-judgement zone and I am happy to be like Switzerland and I will keep it neutral!

This doesn’t mean to say that when you call me, you can’t talk to me until the cows come home about any *beef you have (no pun intended) with any religion, politician or any other story that you want to share.

I also (as we talk about the beef) have no objection with anybody calling me if they are meat eaters, vegans, or vegetarians.

Basically…. anyone over 18 can call me. I just ask that you play nice in the sand box with each other when posting comments after the blogs and keep to the rules.

By now you are probably ready to call, just to get something off your chest so with talking about the rules…. please read “The Terms and Conditions” before you pick up the phone.

If talking on the phone is not your thing …

you can jump over here into this link and request an online chat with me instead!

Not everybody likes talking on the phone until they are comfortable with the person that they are getting to know.  I understand and I am happy to get to know you with what makes you comfortable!

So looking forward to chatting with you all!

Reverend Claire