phone my friend Claire

About phone my friend Claire

Claire is a postpartum doula and also offers a one of a kind confidential online and over the phone "listening service" for anybody that is lonely or that just wants to be heard.

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone.

feel all alone and the worst thing is to end up with people that make you feel all alone

I remember reading this quote many years ago before Robin Williams, sadly took his own life.  It struck a cord with me because it was at a time that I was in a relationship that made me feel exactly that.  It confused me as I was very rarely physically alone and left to wander around by myself doing my own thing, I was always with my partner or with others.

I set on a quest to figure out why I was experiencing the very real feelings that I was faced with.  Luckily my loneliness and feeling of despair was never as evident as to how Robin Williams felt in his life with the demons that plagued his soul.  For this I am very thankful.

I have experienced the aftermath of what a suicide feels like to family members such as myself left behind. Wondering “what?” “why?” “what could I have done to prevent this?” and I wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy.  It never leaves you and during those bleak times the feeling of being alone comes back in full force. 

It starts off as a slow ripple on the surface of a lake, but then becomes like a tidal wave in your mind.

Not having anybody to talk too at the drop of a hat that has experienced losing somebody to suicide  is hard.  Don’t get me wrong, I can always pick up the phone and chat with a family member, but 18 months since her death now leaves me wanting to talk or listen to strangers talk about their story.   Strangers that have experienced it.  Yup, strangers that won’t judge me or cringe when I cry like a baby or get angry in the next breath.  Oh, yes.   After a suicide the waves of anger that come to you, which are directly intended for the person that left you on this earth are like no other.   You might not also want to burden your family with how you are feeling as they are feeling it too.  Now I channel my energy into listening to others and that helps ME.  It’s a win win for both of us.

So I set out on my journey and over the course of 3 months of asking people that I knew or random strangers “When you feel alone even if you are in a relationship or if you feel alone regardless of being in a relationship, what are the main reasons, do you think?”

Reasons why people experience loneliness — even when they’re not alone.

  • Social Media.   Try not to put too much stock into social media as it can be very misleading and fake.  It all looks good on the outside but what happens 20 minutes after the picture takes place?  Who knows, but no relationship is perfect and disagreements happen.  You just don’t see them on Social Media per se.  Everybody has “stuff” “baggage” but they don’t openly display this on Social Media.
  • They won’t let people close or let them in very easily. In social situations, remember to make eye contact, listen actively to what others are saying and try to be open to kindness offered by others.  It will help you feel less lonely.  Trust and have faith more.  Not all people are out to get you or to pull a fast one on you.
  • You feel you need more substance in your relationship. More beef.  More attention. If you want to feel less lonely and connect more with others, remember close friends can’t solve your problems; they can only offer support. Furthermore, it’s your job to support them when they need it, too.  At Phone My Friend I cannot solve your problems, but organically I can help you solve them as you share and connect with a friend that offers you the support YOU need.
  • You miss intimacy and not just in a sexual way.  You miss the genuine hugs and the real kisses.  You could take a pass on the air kissing, but you could take a genuine smacker on the cheek or a tight hug that feels like a bear hug. You can have lots of relationships, but if they’re not close relationships, you might feel unfulfilled.   There is a reason that the hugging service is expanding!  Its true.  Check it out here in this link..  Rest assured too, when you chat with me you will feel the virtual hug from me and the warmth emanating from my voice.
  • You are introverted. It can feel overwhelming to make small talk with lots of people in a big room or event.  Small talk for an introvert is like having rusty nails poked into your eyes.  If talking on the phone is too much for you as an introvert,  you can always submit a request for an online chat with me!  This is a BIG hit with most introverts within my business Phone My Friend.

So let’s get connected and share some stories.  You are one step closer to feeling less lonely when you call me or online chat with me and your secrets are never shared with anyone.

Hugs to all of you beautiful souls and let’s go on this journey together!

All calls for new users are FREE for the first 3 minutes and for online chat the 1st minute is FREE!

Claire xx

 

By | March 2nd, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Loneliness can cause dementia!

positive friendships can reduce your risk of dementia

Hello lovely friend!

Loneliness has been shown to be bad for you even in ways other than just how it makes you feel.

It causes the body to make more stress hormones and studies show that it is bad for the heart. But recently studies have been cited showing even more striking effects of loneliness. Some studies point to an increase risk of dementia. Perhaps the most powerful recent report describes how loneliness actually effects genetic expression that weakens the body physically and reduces the functioning of the immune system.

Maybe you have heard that it is important to do cross word puzzles or play Soduko as you get older.  Playing these games keeps your brain active and stimulated. It helps reduce your chance of brain disorders.  Watching mindless T.V shows unfortunately doesn’t keep the brain stimulated as it doesn’t require much thought when watching T.V.  The same goes with not having active conversations with others.  It is almost like the brain forgets how to string a sentence together.

People who spend their entire day feeling lonely without positive stimulation such as a healthy conversation with another human being are more at risk than those who have a positive circle of friends or family that bring harmony into their lives.

But for some people this isn’t an option.  Maybe they live in isolation with friends and family living miles away or maybe their previous relationships were dysfunctional and unhealthy.   Isolation and loneliness threaten longevity as much as being a heavy smoker or to that of being an alcoholic.

A listening and befriending service can help those people that don’t engage in positive human conversation.

Today you can pick up the phone and we can chat here at Phone My Friend about whatever takes your fancy (non sexual) and we can engage in a fun and healthy conversation.  If talking on the phone makes you go cold with fear then you can submit a request here in this link for an online chat with me.

I really look forward to hearing from you with your stories and I am happy to share some of mine with you…but the moment is really all about YOU and how I can listen to you or via my online chat with you about YOUR day!

Sending hugs and happy to connect!

 

Claire xxx

 

By | March 1st, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

We need to start taking our social interactions more seriously.

Want to avoid the feeling of loneliness

We need to start taking our social relationships more seriously.  Quite often we don’t think about the effects it can have on the body and mind when we live a solitary life.   Maybe it is time that we start to think more about the repercussions.   More studies are proving that a lack of social interaction can have an effect on our health and longevity.

Studies based on 3 million people, found that the subjective feeling of loneliness increases risk of death by 25%.   An alarming thought when loneliness affects at least 60 million Americans.

What if you enjoy spending time by yourself?  But what if you live alone?

While being alone and feeling alone are not the same thing, the effect on longevity, however, is similar. Social isolation and living alone were found to be even more harmful to a person’s health than feelings of loneliness increasing mortality risk by 29% and 32% respectively. Pretty astounding facts.

Earlier research has found that isolation and loneliness threaten longevity as much as being a heavy smoker or to that of being an alcoholic.  Being a heavy smoker or an alcoholic coupled with terrible feelings of isolation is like a ticking time bomb for your health.

We don’t often think about the repercussions of living a solitary life, but maybe it’s time we all start to be more aware of it for ourselves and for others.  According to new research published in Perspectives on Psychological Science, a lack of social connection may have serious consequences for our health and longevity.

We need to start taking our social relationships more seriously.

The data, which was based on roughly 3 million participants, found that the subjective feeling of loneliness increases risk of death by 26%. This is concerning given that loneliness plagues nearly 60 million Americans and that more Americans are living alone than ever before.

With these findings about loneliness being on the rise we are potentially faced with a loneliness epidemic in the future.

It is so easy these days to go for days without actually interacting with another person.  We might text or use social media to pass on comments, but the more technology we use to connect to others the more socially isolated we are actually becoming.

The presence of social interactions with others, whether that be in person or with a friendly voice over the phone, asking about your day provides a positive effect on health and longevity.  So in a nutshell, the more positive interactions we have on a daily basis the better we are able to function emotionally and physically.

So where does this feeling of loneliness leave us and what can you do about it?

So if you or someone you know finds themselves in a situation of isolation or loneliness, make the decision to do something about it. You may just find that you not only live better, you live longer.  Maybe you know somebody that is very lonely and you just don’t get the time or inclination to offer them support, but you can inform them of Phone My Friend, which is a befriending and listening service so that you help them live a life that is much better and longer.

If you or a loved one are looking for uplifting conversations where we can share some humor to help decrease your feelings of loneliness then Phone My Friend is the best place to start!

Maybe you or a loved one has just gone through a breakup and want to feel encouraged and built up.  Everybody including yourself is worthy of love. You deserve support from somebody such as myself that can offer a place for you to feel less lonely as we engage in fun conversation over the phone or over an online chat that is productive for the caller.

So how about you focus on living a healthier life to increase your longevity, starting today!!

Pick up the phone and call me at Phone My Friend in this link, or if you would prefer to submit a request for an online chat instead, you can request me here in this link.

Hugs and admiration for all those willing to make a positive change in their life today!

Claire xxx

By | March 1st, 2017|Uncategorized|1 Comment

Four things a woman should stop wearing after becoming a Mom!

As your postpartum doula here in Orlando Florida…

I will lovingly reinforce these rules with you that are on the video below to help you relax and to encourage you to not listen to what other people say to you with their unwarranted advice about how to raise YOUR baby!   Most people have good intentions when it comes to giving you advice such as your mother in law that gave birth over 30 years ago, not realizing that things have changed.  But this is your baby and we might all have lifestyles that are different from our friends or family.

I help you bond with your baby and help the siblings adjust into their new role as big brother or sister in a way that works for your family.  You might be all about the family sharing a bed or all about tough love when it comes to the older siblings.  I help you understand the differences taking into account your families well being. We will work out all of the options and work with you on what suits your lifestyle, culture or religious beliefs.

There really is not one shoe fits all other than the one universal truth of raising a family or growing a relationship which is health, love, kindness and positive reinforcement.

Are you pretending that you have it all together when you are really struggling and just need some help?    Are you disliking every minute of breastfeeding and feel guilty about it?

You are not alone if you feel this way as there are plenty of new Moms that I come across that read all the books prior to having the baby, but struggle once they have brought the baby home.

If you feel that you need some help in your home a few days or hours a week, contact me here.  I hope to meet you all very soon!

Fun video for postpartum Mom below is definitely worth watching and hopefully inspirational to you!

 

 

By | February 21st, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

How a befriending and listening service can help you!

Hello Beautiful souls!

You might be asking what is an over the phone listening and befriending service?

Well, it is as simple as somebody that is feeling lonely or maybe bored that wants to speak with somebody.  So they pick up the phone to call, knowing there will be a friendly connection, which makes them feel safe!

Maybe you don’t have another person that you connect with, or you don’t have a friend that truly listens to you and engages you in further conversation.  Boredom and loneliness can lead to depression. Depression is harder to bounce back from than loneliness and boredom.  So a listening and befriending service is what more and more people are turning too.

Typically phone or online chat conversations with friends/clients such as yourself, will range from at least ten minutes to an hour. You can call me and chat with me about your weekend. Or you can call with your dilemma about whether to take the promotion that you have just been offered.  Maybe you are just bored and want me to take an active interest? I ask questions to get that help you to open up about your day to day life or you can take the lead and talk about whatever you want to get it off your chest.

When I am not just actively listening and acknowledging what you talk about,  I might ask questions like a friend would ask you questions. I don’t ask questions like how a therapist would ask you questions.

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty about your life, your relationships and the different roles that each person in your life plays.
Let’s do this without trying to figure out why you feel this way and what the cause could be.

When was the last time that somebody asked you about your pet ..

and wanted to know ‘all’ the details about that pet, that made you feel happy?   Questions about how did you pick the name?  Would you consider getting more pets?  What is the one thing about having a pet that concerns you?   This is just an example of conversations that take place with me during my time with my friends/clients over the phone.   Showing an active interest in your life, makes you feel wanted and cared for.  Who doesn’t need or want that?

Now you may be thinking “If you ask questions like a friend would ask me questions, then why should I be calling or having an online chat with you?”   On average due to our friends busy lives or self absorbent tendencies some may ask you these questions but are not really listening to your answers.  Maybe you want to answer their questions more honestly than you feel that you can. This can be due to your fear of them judging you.  Or do they share with others what you tell them, making you feel that there is no trust or confidentiality in your relationships with friends?

listening and befriending service is ready for your call or online chat

Your secret is safe with me at Phone My Friend.  You can be rest assured your secret will not be shared with your friends or on my social media thread as I befriend you and care about what you tell me.

So why not connect with me today?  A befriending and listening service is unique and makes it ‘your little secret’ that lifts you out of boredom or loneliness.   If picking up the phone and speaking is not your thing and you are more comfortable with an online chat instead, jump into this link and request an online chat with me!  It is that easy.

So what is your dirty little secret today!

Hugs and love

Claire xx

By | February 21st, 2017|Uncategorized|1 Comment

How to start introducing your baby to sleep through the night from day one!

new mom needs help orlando

Being a new parent is difficult and it certainly does not come with an instruction manual or a license!   A lot of us bring this tiny bundle home and have no idea what to do with it!  Sometimes our instincts kick in and we figure it out in our own time. Sometimes those instincts take longer and we do the best we can with the information given or not always given!  Some information is given to us from our parents (all with the best intentions) or from friends that have been there, done it and worn the t-shirt.   Some advice they give is unwarranted. Maybe it doesn’t work for you, so you listen and do what you think is best anyway for your family!   You might be lucky and have a postpartum doula in Orlando such as myself to help you.

The purpose of this blog today if you are reading it (and I am sure if you clicked on it, it is because you are curious about the topic or you are tired like you have never been before in your life and just long for the day that your baby sleeps through the night!)

I will write a blog in the future on how to sleep train your baby if by the age of 9 months they are not sleeping through the night and still expecting the circus to come visit them at night to entertain them!   I am a big believer in letting baby cry it (but there is a way that you can do this gently) when the baby is 9 months old and not before that age.  Prior to 9 months they are still figuring it all out.  Heck some people in their 40’s are still figuring it all out!   Or if you are desperate to know how to sleep train baby and I haven’t got round to writing the blog. You can always contact me here!    Some adults have even told me that this routine has helped THEM unwind after a busy day, regardless of whether they have a baby or not!   We are always learning.

So….Mom, Dad or whoever is taking care of the baby, enjoy this new journey in your life and I hope it works as well for you as it did for my two children and previous clients of mine …

I will use ‘her’ as I talk about baby.

 

  • When you are feeding your baby through the day, make eye contact with her, sing to the baby or just talk to her as you feed.  Talk in a loving voice as you connect and bond with her.  Just like going for lunch with a friend, you will sit, chat and enjoy your time together, maybe you and your friend will be sitting outside in the sun or looking out a window at the day to day hustle of life connecting in a positive way together.  Day time is about observing, learning and capturing the beauty in everything around us.  This runs true with your relationship with your baby.  Chat with her about beautiful she is.  Even if our babies don’t understand the words that we use they certainly understand the energy behind them!  We learn a lot from people’s energy.  Just like walking into a room, you can pick up on a bad vibe or a bad feeling from somebody.  They pick up on this too.  Why wouldn’t they, they are a living creature just like we are.

 

  • Most adults if they take a bath when they are tired, usually take a bath at the end of the day.  Maybe you light some candles and keep it romantic or have music playing.  You get the scene.  The scene is one of serenity, unwinding, closing out the day … A warm bath in a dimly lit room is soothing to the soul.   When this becomes a regular routine for your baby every night, subconsciously the baby will know the day is starting to unwind.   So during and following her bath time, keep all noise to a minimum and adjust the lighting accordingly.  Some babies dislike their first few bath times that they have.   A suggestion if this is a dramatic time for her, wrap her in a small warm snug towel and gently lower her into the water wrapped in the towel.   Slowly start to bathe her without the towel around her until she gets more comfortable with it.  Wrap her up in a nice soft warm towel and gently pat her dry. Keep her cozy and feeling protected.  Make sure the room is warm with no cold drafts. Some Moms if they get the time, do a very gentle massage of the baby’s body as they apply lotion after she is dry.    This helps soothe the baby also and because it is therapeutic in nature, soothes Mom too!  Think “spa” when you think of her night time bath time.  Create as much of a spa experience as you can at this time, especially if she is a fussy baby that dislikes her bath time.   If you are using essential oils for calming such as lavender or chamomile…remember LESS is better.  Too much essential oil can have a stimulating effect instead of a calming effect!  Whoever sells the oils to you, make sure they know what they are doing and have a thorough understanding of the benefits or the side effects.   Less is better.  I cannot stress this enough!   I also don’t think essential oils should be used every day on a baby…..but this is just my opinion.

 

  • When you have taken a nice warm bath to help you unwind after a hard day, would you normally go into your living room with loud music playing or a with a TV blasting out to awaken your senses?  Probably not.  Your evening would probably consist of a serene environment.   Think glass of wine waiting for you, a nice easy novel to read, and a candle flickering.   So with the room all serene, dress baby into her clean pajamas and use gentle quiet voices as you talk to her.  Talking to her without too much chatter as too much chatter can be too stimulating.  If you as an adult are trying to unwind and somebody is constantly chattering to you making small talk, it can make you irritated.   Babies get irritated too!

 

  • Feed the baby her last feed of the night in this same environment.  No noise.  No TV but in a room that is just the two of you.   Avoid making too much eye contact at this time and keep the room pretty dark.   Maybe a little light tucked in the corner to give a gentle glow with a soft bulb.  Or a night light will work perfectly!    Don’t talk to her as you feed her, no matter how vocal she is being.   Allow her to fall asleep in your arms if that works for you and gently place her in the crib.  Not all babies will continue to stay asleep as you do this, some might wake up the minute you put them down.   But keep doing the same routine each time, by comforting them in the dark in this room.   Maybe bend over the crib and soothe her little head until she falls asleep.

 

  • When baby wakes in the night for a feed, continue the same routine of feeding her in the dark.  Remember it is night time! Night time feeds need to be in a dark room, quiet and with no voices.  Little eye contact should be made so they get the clues early on, that this isn’t time for the circus to entertain them!  The sooner you get baby into this routine the quicker they will start learning the difference between night and day.

 

Being a parent is all about discipline.

Discipline should start from day one.  Discipline if you look in the dictionary means “To teach”.   You are teaching her the difference between night and day, not punishing her!   There is a big difference.   They are here to learn from us and for your sanity it is advisable to try to encourage them from day one to start learning how to fall asleep by herself.  Sleep deprivation was used in prisoner of war camps … it is debilitating for anybody to focus with very, very little sleep.   So if sleep is important to you, start the process as soon as she comes home.    It may take her 4 months to start sleeping through the night, but that is OK as you as her parent can give yourself a pat on the back that you taught her this invaluable lesson early on in her life!

I did this method with both of my babies.  My first took a bit longer to get it!  To this day he still prefers night time to day time…but at least he started sleeping through at 4 months.  My daughter got it much quicker and slept from 9 pm until 6 am when she was just 10 weeks old.   

Of course there will be the odd night that they are sick, have a bad dream and cry out for you.  This is OK, but remember to keep the same night time routine of feeding or soothing them in the dark with quiet voices.  When they know the cabaret isn’t coming to entertain, they will give up eventually of crying out just because they are bored!

I will also be writing a blog in the near future on how to integrate the older sibling into their new role as big brother or sister!  Keep checking in for that ….. or if you are desperate right now to know how to make your toddler happy with baby being home…contact me TODAY!

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By | February 10th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Healthy snacks for the Mom of the newborn!

Healthy snacks for the Mom of the newborn in Orlando!

Mom newborn Orlando

Are you a Mom of a newborn in Orlando, Florida? Bringing home a newborn baby from the hospital can be a tiring time.  So don’t you think that by having a postpartum doula in your home in Orlando that can make these healthy snacks for you, will keep you on track? These healthy snacks will keep you feeling full and give you natural energy to get through each day.

Doubts such as “Am I doing this right?” to “Will my body ever be the same again?” are just two of the many questions and scary thoughts that you might be having during this 8 week postpartum period.   So the simple things such as eating healthy to get back to your pre pregnancy weight can go out the window as you reach for the closest food item in the pantry.  You know the items I am talking about.  A handful of cookies or a bowl of sweet cereal here and there.   We all know deep down that the cookies can bring us comfort and provide a quick fix, but they don’t help us to lose weight or to keep your mood levels healthy!

So without bringing weight into the conversation, let’s talk about what is good for us at this time for our mood levels.   Eating sugar can give us a quick boost.  But eating sugar can come with a very big energy crash that can lead to dehydration, weight gain, dull skin and a grumpy attitude.

Below are some great healthy recipes that can help you today with lots and lots of things, such as an abundance of nutrition. Some anti-inflammatory super foods.  A lovely brightening of the skin. How about turning dull hair into glossier hair?. … But most importantly at this moment in time they help with your mood!

Most of these ingredients can be bought from a regular grocery store and pretty much everything I mention here can be picked up before I come to your house and I can rustle you up a healthy smoothie snack for the day or for a few days in a row in just two shakes of a lamb’s tail!

So take a look at what this postpartum doula here in Orlando, Florida can make for you during this tiring time!

 

Claire’s Turmeric milk in a jiffy!

2 cups of almond milk or milk of your choice (great for a bedtime drink to help your mind unwind)

1 Tablespoon of coconut oil (it’s a good fat and can also be used as a body lotion)

2-3 teaspoons of turmeric powder (anti-inflammatory and soothing)

1 teaspoon of ground black pepper (this activates the turmeric, helping your lovely body absorb it!)

½ teaspoon of ginger (great for the digestion, including nausea)

Place all the ingredients into a saucepan and heat on low and simmer for a few minutes.

Strain the liquid, pour into your mug and add a teaspoon of honey to taste!

 

Claire’s Spinach Smoothie to wake up your senses!

A handful of washed spinach (gives you and your mind the strength of an ox and keeps you regular!)

½ banana (potassium prevents cramp and the smile shape of a banana keeps you smiling too!)

Handful of blueberries (anti-inflammatory and brightens your day!)

Tablespoon of lemon juice (very medicinal and heals anything!)

A spoonful of protein powder (protein to feed your weary muscles)

A cup of carrot juice (bright eyes and a clearer vision of how wonderful you are doing!)

Pour all the above into your blender and mix until smooth!   Sit back and enjoy!

 

Claire’s superwoman smoothie

½ cup of blueberries (form healthy connections between the cells of the brain)

½ cup of raspberries

½ small banana

¼ diced pineapple

2 Tablespoons of chia seeds (Chia seeds are high in omega-3 fatty acids, which experts believe are necessary for transmitting signals between brain cells)

3 ice cubes

½ cup of pomegranate juice

1 scoop of vanilla protein powder.

Pour all of the above into your blender and mix until smooth!  Sit back and enjoy as your body relaxes!

 

Claire’s wake me up before you go go smoothie!

½ small banana

1 Tablespoon of chia seeds (Chia seeds are high in omega-3 fatty acids, which experts believe are necessary for transmitting signals between brain cells and keeps the blood sugar steady)

½ tsp of ground cinnamon

¾ cup of vanilla almond milk

1 double shot of organic espresso coffee (about ½ cup will do the trick and keep you focused)

1 scoop of vanilla protein powder (Dopamine is a neurotransmitter involved in motivation, emotion, and pleasure, and it’s easily boosted by a healthy serving of protein)

Pour all of the above into your blender and mix until smooth!  Sit back and watch your body spring into action!

 

Claire’s nothing can BEET this one smoothie!

½ cup of carrot juice (bright eyes and a strong focus)

½ cup of frozen or fresh blueberries

½ cup of grated and peeled beet (Beets are high in fiber, phytonutrients, folate, beta carotene, and natural nitrates that increase blood flow to the brain)

½ cup of unsweetened applesauce

½ cup of unsalted raw whole almonds

½ cup of ice cubes

A squeeze of lime juice

A bit of ground ginger

Pour all of the above into your blender and mix until smooth!  Sit back enjoy and don’t be alarmed if your pee is red…this is the BEET working it’s magic!

 

Claire’s kale in a jar with a dash of honey!

1 ½ cup of almond milk

¾ of a banana

1 cup of frozen or fresh blueberries (antioxidants that protect brain cells from free-radical damage.)

1 cup of chopped kale (iron-packed kale round out the brain-boosting power)

5 unsalted whole almonds

2 teaspoons of honey (Manuka is the best on the market, but can be pricey…but very, very medicinal!!)

Pour all of the above into your blender and mix until smooth!  Sit back and enjoy the iron kick!

 

These are just a few easy smoothies that can be made as you go or can be made a few days ahead of time and stored in a mason jar with a lid and kept in the fridge!

Or if you don’t have the time, the energy or the inclination to get into the kitchen and chop, pour and mix…you can always have me as your postpartum doula here in Orlando,  Florida make these for you!

So how can I help you today in your home in Orlando, Florida as your postpartum doula?

Contact me today and I look forward to sharing more recipes with you in person!

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By | October 28th, 2016|Uncategorized|0 Comments

It takes a strong woman to ask for help with a newborn!

Needing help with newborn baby in Orlando, Florida?

Just having a postpartum doula in Orlando, Florida to listen to you and to encourage you makes your life easier!

Having a postpartum doula  come into your home in Orlando, Florida to help you adjust with your new baby is a wonderful experience for most.  It is especially wonderful for the new Mom if her family live out of state with not much help being offered to her.  Yes, women have babies every day and some do just great and don’t feel like they need much help from family or from a postpartum doula. But there are some new Moms that just want that additional help.  It is OK if they want to have a person sit with them for a few hours a day to stop them from feeling lonely and confused.

It takes a strong person to ask for help and to sit back and let somebody help!

Having a new baby can be a lonely time. There might be resentment at your partner for leaving the house each day.  Resentment kicks in as they go to work. As they converse with other adults and are able to go to the bathroom in peace without hearing the screams from a baby. Having resentment can have an affect on your relationship.  It can be a trying time for couples to adjust and comparisons of who is the most tired can dominate all other conversations, leading to strong disagreements that are not productive.  Wouldn’t you want this to be a happy time for all people involved?

Having a postpartum doula can help you get to that happier place!

As your postpartum doula in Winter Park, Florida, I can pick up groceries on the way over to your house and make you lunch and sit with you as you feed baby or run around the house like a ninja with the vacuum for a few minutes!  During my ninja vacuuming session I can be roasting a chicken in the oven for you, so that when your partner comes home from work, dinner Is all prepared and he/she just need to prepare the veggies and you are good to go!

Even if you are a second time Mom, you might still feel that you need some additional help!

Just because this isn’t your first rodeo doesn’t mean that your emotions, hormones and everything else isn’t going to pot!   A lot of Moms struggle with juggling the newborn as well as the toddler.  When your once angelic toddler all of a sudden starts to misbehave as he or she wonders where or how they now fit into the pecking order of things!  I can provide as your postpartum doula some great tips on how to help the sibling feel happier about the newcomer muscling into their life!   Some of my tips are so simple to corporate into your daily life you will be wondering, why the heck you didn’t think of it yourself!

It is very rewarding for me to help a new Mom, a second, third or fourth time Mom balance her new life.  It is also a great feeling for me to see the older child start to feel happier about the new baby.    Seeing the partner walk through the door after a stressful day at work to a happier Mom that isn’t as lonely, a cleaner house and dinner all ready to go, allows me to leave for the day with a smile on my face. I see this and know that I am adding value to this families life.

So, do you need help with your newborn baby?

How can I help you and your family today as your postpartum doula here in Orlando, Florida?  Do you need help because you feel lonely?  Are you struggling with understanding the basics of ‘how to care for a newborn?’  Do you need some help with getting back onto a healthy eating plan?   It takes a strong woman to ask for help!  Are you ready for help?   Because I am here to be that postpartum doula that can offer that strong shoulder to lean on and those big ears to listen with!

Contact me today to see how I can come into your home and make your life easier today!

Who doesn’t want an easier life?

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By | October 24th, 2016|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Twenty things to do if you are feeling lonely right now!

  1. Call me!  It always helps to talk to somebody about how lonely you feel.  Really it does help, try it! Or submit an online chat request.
  2. Go for a walk. Put on your running shoes and take a brisk walk.  The endorphins will help create creativity and lift your mood!
  3. Listen to music. Listen to music that doesn’t have sad lyrics, but happy lyrics. Jack Johnson comes to mind.  He is playing down below!  Listen to him as your read this list, to get you into the groove!  I bet you be tapping your toes!
  4. Got a pet? Talk to your pet and give your pet some loving.  If you don’t have a pet, go to a dog park and watch the dogs play!
  5. Read a few chapters in a great self-help book of your choice. Here is one of my favorite books “Once upon a Cow”.
  6. Got the music on as in number 3? Close the blinds and dance like nobody is watching.  Sweat it out and dance to the rhythm working up a sweat!  Great for the mind and cardio too!
  7. Go back to your childhood and get out a coloring book and crayons. Color to your hearts content (preferably with funky, fun music to make your heart sing!”)
  8. Sort out your closet! Donate some clothes to charity and take the trendier ones to a consignment store for cash back. Clearing clutter creates fresh new energy and makes you feel proud of your accomplishment.
  9. Are you home? Light some candles, fill your bath tub and pamper yourself, preferably whist listening to some music.   Can you tell I like music?
  10. Create a board on Pinterest called “My vision board” and spend an hour pinning images of what you would like in your life, 5 minutes from now, 5 days from now, 5 years from now. Go pin and don’t be too concerned if nobody follows your board.  This is for you to do now with no expectation of whether anybody on social media is following it.  For your eyes only my lovely! Beware it can be addictive.  Don’t shoot the messenger ..
  11. Download the “Walgreens” app on your phone and upload some of your photos that are on your phone and have them printed to the store. Pick them up and buy some frames to put them in.  Scatter your frames around your home or have a particular place to keep them that you pass by every day.
  12. Organize a drawer in your house. Throw away anything that is trash and file away or put into labeled boxes keys, sunglasses, pens etc.   Then stand back and be proud of your organization skills!
  13. Go and sit in a church and listen to the silence and if it is an old church, look up at the architecture and silently thank every single person that worked hard at putting it all together. Visualize how they looked when they were working on it many years ago. If praying is your thing, don’t forget to pray to God himself, thanking him for giving you the ability to walk into his church today!
  14. Take a book and go and sit in a coffee shop of your choice and periodically people watch, knowing that every single person that walks in there, no matter how happy they look are all fighting some sort of battle from their past, present or thinking too much about their future. You are not alone with your thoughts!
  15. Go and buy some new coat hangers and throw out any metal ones you have. Coat hangers can be bought inexpensively from the dollar store and maybe visit Pinterest or YouTube to learn how to make fabric ones.  These will look lovely in your closet especially when you have completed number 8!
  16. Get out some nice note cards and if you don’t have any, these can also be bought from a dollar store sometimes. You can pick some up while you are buying your new coat hangers!  Write a card with a quick note in it to a friend or relative you haven’t spoken to in a while!  It will seriously make the recipients day when that arrives in the mail!   Nothing better than receiving a hand written note rather than a text or Facebook message that loses its value due to being too generic.   If you don’t have stamps, put on your walking shoes and go walk to the post office or the nearest grocery store that usually sells stamps.
  17. Buy yourself some flowers or pick some from your garden or wild ones can be picked too, whilst you are out on your walk. Place them in a mason jar in a place that you pass by every day.  Your photo frame location will be perfect for this!
  18. What did you like to do as a child? Recapture this moment if you can.  Dust down your roller blades or pump up your tires on your bike and pedal like a crazy person.  Listen to music while you do this (being safe if you are not on a bike path)
  19. Make a hair appointment or a nail appointment, massage or facial appointment and look forward to it! If finances are an issue, walk into the local beauty school and have them practice on you.  Even if it’s just getting a blow out at beauty school, it feels good to have somebody wash your hair and make it look all lovely and full of bounce.  Are you a man that doesn’t want a pampering service such as this?  Go to a barber school and have them practice the straight edge shave on you.  They are all supervised students!
  20. Last but not least …. What can you do for somebody else today? Buy or make a sandwich and give it to a homeless person (if it is not illegal in your city to do this!!) Or compliment the bag packer at the supermarket, making eye contact with him or her.  When we make somebody else feel good about themselves as to how they look or what they are doing, it makes us feel good too!

Which one was your favorite?

Contact me today and share which one you liked!   I know after listening to this track below I always want to go make banana pancakes!  Enjoy working through the list my beauties and let’s connect soon.  Whatever works for you.  Over the phone or online chat I am here for you!

By | September 9th, 2016|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Military life can be a lonely life for some.

 

Military life can be a lonely life for some.  Too many of our military leave their positions in the military to a life of the unknown. A life of the unknown and fear where they feel that being a civilian after enduring a few deployments and seeing things, hearing things and being exposed to things that we are not aware of, is harder than they thought when they originally enlisted or trained for.  Is it any surprise that they struggle with strong bouts of loneliness? Unless they have somebody that they can offload how they feel, how do they get it all out?   They love coming home to their families, but there are some things that they just want to keep to themselves or they just don’t want to ‘talk about it’.

At Phone My Friend, I do get members of the military calling me from time to time.

We don’t necessarily talk about the horrific things that are going on in their head, but we do talk about their life, their everyday going’s on.  They like to talk as I listen with very open ears and a big heart.  I also don’t have the distractions going on that their partner might have such as trying to attend to the children, cooking dinner or keeping the home clean.  I can type to you via online chat or over the phone with no distractions.

It also serves as a very safe place when you share your thoughts with somebody that doesn’t know you, or that lives with you.

Sometimes when we share our deepest thoughts with somebody that we know, they might look at you differently or you feel that they are looking at you differently.  Sometimes it just feels safer to share with somebody over the phone that can not hold it against you, repeat it or keep checking on you, when you just don’t feel like responding to their questioning.   The next day you might be having a great day and hearing them ask “how are you today?” can trigger frustrating feelings of “why do they keep asking … I want to be left alone”.   They are then left feeling “I can’t win for trying”.  Everybody feels like they are losing.

Chatting on the phone or through my online chat allows them to just ‘vent’ …

about how frustrating they find civilian life and how their lack of patience, influenced by the military such as “hurry up and wait” affects their life.  Of course I am not here to give them any tools on how to fix their mental state of mind, but just having that one person that they can call to offload their frustrations helps and allows them to release pent up anger as their words flow, which in turn helps relieve that lonely feeling.  Feeling lonely takes it’s toll on our minds and causes people to retreat. To shut down and in turn it hurts the ones that are close to us that want to help us, but just don’t have the time to actually just listen. Or to listen without offering unwarranted advice or words of discouragement.

They mean well, but men especially, instead of just listening, just want to ‘fix it’.  Not everybody wants fixing, they just want to be heard.

The video above unfortunately doesn’t have such a great and glorious happy ending as let’s face it a makeover isn’t going to make a person all of a sudden become non alcoholic.  The guy above did relapse a few days after filming, but vowed to keep trying to fix his life. 

But no matter what we are faced with, just taking the first step on the road to recovery is process.   Making that first phone call to Phone My Friend or submitting an online chat request is placing your best foot forward.  Just talking or typing via the online chat, non stop and letting it all out is very cathartic for most.

There is a reason why I love my job and why I love to hear from my callers as their words of gratitude keep me going, knowing I can be there for them, when they feel that nobody else will do right now.

So call me today and tell me your story!

By | September 9th, 2016|Uncategorized|0 Comments
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